Hey, you bright, dazzling, stupendous green trees!
Recently I had one of the most transformative experiences of my life: my first Psylocibin journey. This article will serve as a reminder to me of my trip, and an integration tool, one of the most important parts of a psychedelic experience. That way, I’ll always have what I saw and felt in a written format. I’ll also discuss my key insights. I also want to share my experience with you so that you learn more about this topic if you’re interested. I’ll try to describe it in the most detailed way, without disclosing some private parts of my life, that way I can keep my privacy. Let’s fly guys!
Immense Preparation
I have been researching psychedelics for about a year and a half, I have read an enormous amount of articles, and scientific studies, I have watched countless documentaries, and read a handful of books. It’s safe to say I went in with a certain kind of confidence, but still, I was a bit nervous. I became fascinated with the power of psychedelics in providing altered states of consciousness. I was even more eager to try them, because of the immense benefits they bring. It’s a magnificent self-Improvement tool. So I got 15 grams of Psylocibe Tampanensis a strain of Magic Truffles more commonly called “Philosopher’s Stone” and I went into a cabin in the middle of the woods, with a friend, my trip sitter. Due to my weight, 76 Kg, 15 grams is considered a medium to high dose. A high dose is recommended for the therapeutic benefits of the substance.
Transcendental Experience
At 10 PM, I took a ginger-lemon tea with the truffles to hide their truly awful taste, then I laid down in a bed, with my eyes closed and the lights deemed low, with my headphones on. The playlist I was listening to was made by the John Hopkins Center for Psychedelic & Consciousness Research, one of the leading institutions for psychedelic research. It’s composed of 6 hours of classical and erudite music. After 30 minutes or so, I started feeling vibrations in my whole body, and I started getting closed eyes visuals, I saw a lot of geometric shapes moving around, a lot of energetic patterns jerking around in my mind. A lot of things I don’t quite remember, things like a colossal war between giants: I was in a desert and I observed the humongous beings towering over me and fighting in the sand. It was majestic! That was when I understood and felt that music was going to shape my experience. I needed to go to the toilet, so I got up and looked at myself in the mirror, with the lights turned off, and saw my whole face decaying and rotting like a zombie.
I wasn’t scared, I was fascinated! I turned the lights on and I saw my face get back to normal all of a sudden my face lost its curves and shapes, it was like a jelly with eyes. Again, it wasn’t scary, it was beautiful, I realized I was accepting my body no matter the shape or form. I went back to bed, and everything changed. The music got more intense and more sinister, I started feeling a tightness in my whole body, a claustrophobic pressure in my chest, and an overall uneasiness! I was uncomfortable, but I decided to push through it. Then I realized, I had some emotional unfinished business, so I try to become more emotional by crying. I changed the music to a song that always makes me cry: “Father and Son” by Cat Stevens. This song means a lot to me because I lost my dad to troat cancer in 2012. And then, the unthinkable happened! This piece that always makes me cry, didn’t. And this was the first blissful part of the trip. I realized why in the 60s and 70s everyone was crazy about tripping at concerts. It was an immensely remarkable experience, I could listen to sounds I had never listened to before. During this song, I met my father, I relieved memories with him, we went hiking, we played sports and I expressed my love for him. After this first song followed the most wonderful musical experience I ever had. I could see the music, sometimes I would see scenarios related to what the music made me feel, other times I would see the sound. I can’t explain it. I got up and started dancing, and I was feeling like I was part of the sound like I was connected to the guitars, I was in heaven. The best part of this musical experience was when “Sweet Child O’Mine” came on. I could see the guitar riff, and it was sort of like a surfboard and a rainbow wave, I got on top of it, and what followed was majestic. I had a sword and I surfed the guitar solo while slaying all my insecurities and compulsions. I battled my bad thoughts and came on top.
I listened to a lot of songs, and I saw a lot of my friends in crazy outfits, and I danced at the top of my heart with my sweet little girlfriend, we were both jumping on pogo sticks, I felt immense gratitude and love for all those people, and I realized the luck I have. I also saw myself with kids I don’t have, one boy and one girl, I was super happy with my girlfriend, then wife. I was on cloud 9, but then I started feeling that uneasiness again. The songs were becoming slower and they were fading out. I knew I still had unfinished business, I saw a monster deep within myself and I knew I had to take him out. So I decided to do it my way, I decided to use music as my vessel, a sort of boat to my mind’s subconscious. To get deep, I listened to Journey’s “Separate Ways” and then to Kate Bush’s “Running Up That Hill”. I knew I had to meet this monster, it was sort of my Vecna, for you Stranger Things fans. I arrived at a mountain with a castle on top. I switched back to Jonh Hopkins playlist of unsettling music and started my war on myself. I found myself at the bottom of what I’m calling the Mountain Of Self.
An Avengers Endgame-style battle began. On one side Vecna and his army of creatures, on the other side an army of love. I was in the middle of a team composed of all my friends by my side, a lot of Marvel heroes, that dreamy Chris Hemsworth, and even Conan O’Brien was there! We plunged into the valley and fought the opposite army with energy balls made of love, we opened up a rift and Vecna fell down the abyss, defeated. On the other side of the rift in the valley, I saw a sad little girl, I knew I had to follow her alone. I said goodbye to my friends and started climbing the mountain after the girl. On the way up to the top, I saw my father, he told me to be careful, but also to be curious. I entered the castle and opened up a door to a room. There was this girl who was called Procrastination, a bad habit of mine. I danced with this girl in a sort of Cinderella way, and I laughed a lot with her. Then I entered another room and saw a ball of dark energy, this sphere represented an addiction of mine, that I had for a long time. We talked and I thanked her for being there for me, then I told her that I no longer need her help and that I would like to be on my own right now. She said yes, laughed and went away.
The Castle crumbled down and in the middle of it remained the sad little girl and another child. I approached them and I became a child again. The two children were close relatives, with whom I have had a complex relationship. I understood that we are a product of our past, we’re not entirely responsible for our subconscious beliefs. I accepted that everything these two children did, they did with their best intentions, even if they weren’t right they were trying to help me be a better person. They were only doing to me, what was done to them. They thought it was the right way. I played with them, and they were no longer sad, they were happy, as children and everybody should be. For now, my emotional cleansing was done! And then, part two of the blissful experience began. It was around 1:30 PM, I looked out of my cabin’s window, and I saw three big trees transform into human form, they were breathing and telling me to come out! I was listening to a spiritual song I had never listened to before: “King Of Kings”. It made me feel that I was in connection with Nature and something bigger. I put my arm up and felt that my hand mas merged with the ceiling. I opened the door and felt the night's cold breeze go through me. Ironically, “Here Comes The Sun” came on, but the sun wouldn’t come for at least 5 more hours. I looked up to the sky, and my God it was the most beautiful sight I have ever seen. I could see the stars, but so much more! I could see stars moving and flowing over the sky, clear stardust between the constellation, and stars falling across the sky. Everything seemed bigger and more special, everything was alive, everything was breathing!
I went over to the dazzling, lightened, clear blue pool, and listened to Elton John’s “Your Song” with my eyes closed while seeing my whole life until that point. After that, I felt something moving towards me, I turned around and saw this fluffy, cute cat looking at me, let’s call him Steve. He came to me for cuddles and another journey began! I danced with the cat and a bunch of 50’s romantic music like Henry James’s “It´s been a long, long time”, an amazing piece played at the end of Avengers Endgame. The cat and I shared a wholesome bond. I was dancing between the stars with him! We had an open space kitchen in the front yard, and I decided it was time for a snack. So, I opened up an avocado and poured honey on it, it was delicious! Steve thought so too! He licked the entire avocado, he dind’t really ate it, he just spread saliva all over the fruit! It was the first time I had a meal with a cat!
Steve and I danced to Nat Cole’s “L-O-V-E” while looking into each other’s eyes, it was simply wonderful. I walked through the terrain near the cabin with Steve beside me, simply enjoying nature and the Guardians of The Galaxy Soundtrack. At last, Space Oddity by David Bowie came on, and I knew it was time to go to bed, I sat on a tree trunk with Steve, and we looked at the stars, trying to find Major Tom.
I said goodbye to my trusty companion, “Steve, the Cat”, and walked over to my cabin, enjoyed the silence, gave a hug to my friend while he was sleeping, entered my bed and that was it. It’s been three days since my trip, I feel a lot happier, focused, calmer, accepting, joyful, less controlling, less anxious, less unmotivated and overall satisfied with this amazing gift of life we all have! I even Skydived two days after my trip! I hope this was interesting and educational and that it motivated you to research more about this topic. If you have any questions feel free to reach out!
See you, next week chumps!